How to help others properly

When it seems to me that a friend or just someone nearby needs help, I often feel the urge to "run and save". And I see the same reaction to other people's problems every day in many people. Is it necessary to impose help on others, especially if we are not asked for it?

Thinking that we are saving a friend, we often feel like a kind of "Zorro" in a raincoat and hat. We begin to feel more acutely that we are living for a reason, we are helping others. And how nice it is to hear words of gratitude in response to the help provided. But we don't always hear them. Suddenly it turns out that a "happy friend" does not consider himself that way at all, and he saw the solution to his own problems differently, and my ideas about happiness and his do not coincide at all.

Very often, a person, not always consciously, does not want to solve their problems at all. They help him maintain his role as a victim, have the right to complain and receive the sympathy of others. And by offering a specific solution, we deprive him of this opportunity. There are plenty of counterarguments why it is impossible to implement what we have proposed. And when we finally run out of options to improve his circumstances, and we say, "go your own way," then we will be accused of callousness.

Helping others, like everything else in our lives, has two sides of the coin. On the one hand, we are sincerely willing to make someone's life easier, to prompt, to prevent, "not to let them die." Our help can become almost aggressive. We insist, we are waiting for a response from the person. We are waiting for him to realize that we are right, do as he is told, and everything will work out for him. On the other hand, there may be complete inertia towards questions of one's own life and well-being. "...It's so difficult. I can't do it. Maybe something else. Yes, yes, but not now. Now is not the right time...". These are typical answers that we hear endlessly from "sufferers." Time passes, the excuses are new every time, but the essence does not change. The person doesn't want to change anything. And it's good if we understand this in time, rather than wasting our time and energy.

You can only provide real help to someone who is willing to accept it. No one can be forcibly taken to heaven. When we make decisions for others who seem weak and in need of help, we often unknowingly harm them. As soon as a person comes to the choice to change his life for the better, then circumstances begin to help him, rather than being a constant cause of inaction. He just starts to see them from the other side of the coin. But if you see a person who is not able to cope with the problem now, do not rush to condemn and blame him. Откровенное кино для взрослых – переходи отсюда и наслаждайся.